A year ago tomorrow, a good friend of mine jumped off the golden gate bride. That's how 2014 started.

This season, I've been trying to focus on the present, but Xmas eve, I couldn't help thinking that it was the anniversary of our last meeting. This evening, the anniversary of the last picture of him.

None of us knew. He hid his pain so well. But I still feel like I should've known. 

Sometimes I come across github issues he was on, and remember all the unfinished conversations frozen in time. Someone asked to take over an abandoned module of his a few weeks ago. His traces are still all over the place.

In the midst of that, I had to focus on taking care of npm. That part of my life has been great, and so have most of the other parts. I'm really lucky. But I think New Years Day and the weeks leading up to it will always be touched with sadness.